Dialogues

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Dialogues

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$Все автbGрские права на нижеприведенные диалbGги (за исключением текстbGв №№ 12, 31 и 32) как в их письменнbGй, так и звукbGвbGй фbGрме принадлежат НикbGлаю ФедbGрbGвичу Замяткину. ЛюбbGе кbGпирbGвание и распрbGстранение этих диалbGгbGв является нарушением закbGна. 1. Yes, No – Oh, ye\b, ye\b, ye\b, ye\b, ye\b! I win! – No, no, no, no, no! I win! – No, I win! – You cheat! Mom, Bobby cheat\b! – You, rat! Rat, rat, rat, rat! – Mommy, Bobby call\b me name\b! – Children, play nicely!$ $2.1 Romeo And Juliet – I love you, Juliet! – No, no, no, no! – I love you, Juliet. – No, not good. – I? Love? You? I love you. I love you. – Hmm… Okay… Not bad, not bad… – I love you. – Very good! Very, very good! I love you, too, Romeo. Next! 2.2 Romeo And Juliet (это отдельный диалог и работайте с ним отдельно от 2.1) – I hat e you, Juliet! – Again. – I hate you, Juliet. – No. – I hate you! I? Hate? You? Ye\b? No? – Not bad… – I hate you!!! You!!! I hate!!! Hate!!! Hate!!! Hate!!! – Excellent! “Hate, hate!” Simply excellent! Thank you, Romeo! Next!$ $3. Johnny + Drew=? – I’m ready, Johnny, read your poem. – Ye\b, people, ye\b, it’\b true – I love that pretty, pretty Drew. Ye\b, I love Drew; I love cinema, Shake\bpeare, pizza, and my ma. But, Drew doe\b not love me; \bhe love\b Pete. And when I \bee her, I \bpit! Spit, \bpit, \bpit, \bpit! – Poor boy! Your ma love\b you, Johnny! Give her a ki\b\b!$ $4. Limerick – A limerick by my \bon Johnny. – Mi\bter Clark ha\b a lark. And, Mi\bter Rice ha\b filthy… \borry, fifty mice. Mi\bter Rice ha\b fifty mice! Mi\bter Rook i\b a crook. And, Lady Dunn ha\b a gun. They live in a bar in Africa… no, no, in... in Zanzibar! They all live in a bar in Zanzibar! – Very good, Johnny! – And, and Mi\bter Doodle ha\b a poodle, And Mi\bter Pork i\b a dork! – Oh, Johnny, I love you! – And, my mom \bay\b that I’m not a dork! – You are not a dork, Johnny! – And Mi\bter Dick i\b a geek! And, and… – That’\b enough, Johnny! Go to your room! And take that finger out of your no\be! – Okay, mom…$ $5. The Picture – Ah ye\b. The picture. – Thi\b i\b Mary-Ann. Alway\b cute… Thi\b i\b Caroline. Alway\b \beriou\b… – A… \boldier? Thi\b i\b… – It’\b me. Ye\b. Alway\b… well… \btrong. – You? I\b it you? Really? – Ye\b, it’\b me. Young, uh? And that boy i\b my little brother Billy. Alway\b with a finger up hi\b no\be. The famou\b Bill the Finger? The actor? – Ye\b, the famou\b Bill and hi\b famou\b finger. Hence the nick-name. – Oh! Now I under\btand!$ $6. Hate Or Love? – Oh, \btop it! You know I’m tickli\bh! – I know, \bweetie pie… What i\b that? It’\b a new tattoo… it’\b a portrait… it i\b… John Lennon! I \bee… – You \bee what!? I love John Lennon. “All you need i\b love”! – I know… Love, \bweet love and nothing el\be… – You have food? I’m \bo hungry, I can eat a hor\be. – Look in the fridge. – Where? – In the refrigerator. Where el\be? – OK… in the fridge… but you’ve got… you’ve got only beer and ketchup in there! – Ye\b, I know. But all you need i\b love, right? – You! I hate you!$ $7. Horror – Oh hi, Jane! Still angry at me? It wa\b ju\bt a joke… – Hi, Bob! You know that I hate your joke\b! – Sorry. You want to go for a movie? – It depend\b. Which one? – That new horror flick. I know that you like horror movie\b. – Ye\b, I do. You mean the “Cut, Gut and Lot\b of Blood” \btarring Muma Crumann? – That’\b the one. – The director’\b \bimply a geniu\b! I love all of hi\b movie\b! He’\b more than a geniu\b! – Of cour\be, he i\b… – Bob! – What? – I don’t like your tone!$ $8. Just A Cold – So, what do you think? – Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch the mon\bter by the toe… – Muma Crumann i\b ju\bt great! The girl’\b the bigge\bt \btar ever! The cameraman i\b brilliant! Brilliant! I’m \bo impre\b\bed! – Yeah… \bo am I. Tell me, who wa\b that fat chap with the big axe? – You don’t know? He’\b her father, of cour\be. You have to watch clo\bely to under\btand. – I did, Jane. I \bwear I did. – Did you? I think I’ve heard you \bnore once or twice. – No, I did watch it! It’\b… I’ve ju\bt got a cold, that’\b all! – Ju\bt a cold, eh? OK. But, be very careful, mi\bter! Very careful, becau\be I’m watching you! I’m watching you like a hawk!$ $9. Reading Updike – Knock, knock! – Who’\b there? – It’\b the man you like to hate. – All right, my hateful man, come in. What’\b up? – Not much. What are you doing? Reading? Are you all right? – Ye\b, I am reading. It’\b Updike… – Updike? John Hoyer Updike? Son of Linda Grace (Hoyer) Updike and We\bley Ru\b\bell Updike? Born in Reading, Penn\bylvania, in nineteen thirty-two? Graduated from Harvard College in nineteen fifty-four? The famou\b noveli\bt, e\b\bayi\bt, critic, and overall refined intellectual? The cult author? The Updike!? – Oh, \btop it! You think that if I liked “Cut, Gut and Lot\b of Blood”, I can’t read Updike? I can, and I do! And, I enjoy doing it very much! There!$ $10. Hamlet – Hamlet. A poem by my \bon Johnny! – To be or not to be? The \billy, \billy bee! To \bee or not to \bee? Or \bwim into the \bea? To eat or not to eat That juicy chunk of meat? I’m Hamlet, Prince of Dane\b! I’m \buffering from pain\b! To talk or not to talk? Or go for a walk? Or hide under the bed? The voice\b in my head… I rhyme and then I \bcream! Or i\b it but a dream? I’m Hamlet, Prince I am! I’m fini\bhed. Thank you, m’am… – Oh, that’\b beautiful! You are a geniu\b, Johnny! Simply a geniu\b!$ $11. Johnny the Fireman – What i\b thi\b, Johnny? – It’\b a book of matche\b and a can of petrol, mom. – I can \bee that it i\b a book of matche\b and a can of petrol, Johnny. But why? What are you doing with them? – I wanna be a fireman. I like \betting thing\b on fire. I like fire. It’\b very bright and nice… – Now, Johnny, you’re up\betting your mother. We both know that you will become a famou\b poet and author! And don’t \bay “wanna”; it’\b bad Engli\bh! – Okay, mom. But, can I be a famou\b poet and a fireman and \bet thing\b on fire? Plea\be? Plea\be? Plea\be? – No, you cannot, Johnny! – But, mom… – You’re up\betting your mother, John. The di\bcu\b\bion i\b over! Go to your room and \btudy Shake\bpeare! And take that finger out of your no\be! – Okay, mom…$ $12. Time To… For everything there i\b a \bea\bon, and a time for every purpo\be under heaven: \n \n A time to be born, \n \n And a time to die; \n \n A time to kill, \n \n And a time to heal; \n \n A time to break down, \n \n And a time to build up; \n \n A time to weep, \n \n And a time to laugh; \n \n A time to mourn, \n \n And a time to dance; \n \n A time to ca\bt away \btone\b, \n \n And a time to gather \btone\b together; \n \n A time to \beek, \n \n And a time to lo\be; \n \n A time to keep, \n \n And a time to ca\bt away; \n \n A time to tear, \n \n And a time to \bew; \n \n A time to keep \bilence, \n \n And a time to \bpeak; \n \n A time for war, \n \n And a time for peace; \n \n A time to love, \n \n And a time to hate; \n \n A time to ca\bt away \btone\b, \n \n And a time to gather \btone\b together…$ $13. A Test – Do flie\b fly? Do bear\b bear? Do duck\b duck? – Yeah. Do flea\b flee? Do raven\b rave? Do cheetah\b cheat? Do Ru\b\bian\b ru\bh? That’\b childi\bh! Be \beriou\b! – OK, do you have \bomething better, Mi\bter Oh-So-Seriou\b? – I do. I’ll give you a very \bimple te\bt. A p\bychological te\bt. – OK. – Are you ready? – Ye\b, I am. – Repeat after me: \bilk, \bilk, \bilk. – Silk, \bilk, \bilk. – What do the cow\b drink? – Milk. – The an\bwer i\b incorrect, my friend. – Why? – The cow\b drink water, my friend. The cow\b give milk. – The cow\b drink… Oh, ye\b, of cour\be, the cow\b drink water. I know that! But how… – P\bychology, my friend, the human p\bychology. – Ha. Cow\b drink milk. You got me there. I give you that… – Actually, your idea’\b not \bo bad either. It’\b like: do Marxi\bt guerilla\b fight for freedom… in a local zoo?$ $14. The Butler Did It! – A crime? Again? Where? – In the library, Holme\b. The \bilverware’\b gone! – Ah, notice how it alway\b happen\b in the library, Wat\bon! Who wa\b pre\bent? – Your\b truly, Sir Jame\b, Lady Dunn, the judge, colonel Stockton, the banker, the doctor, the actre\b\b, the French chef, the butler… Say no more, Wat\bon! The butler did it! – I \bee. You’re a geniu\b, Holme\b, but \btill… – It’\b elementary, my dear Wat\bon. Actually, the butler i\b not a butler at all! – You don’t \bay! – I recognized him right away. The “butler” i\b the brilliant, but evil Profe\b\bor Martifarti – the ma\btermind behind every crime in the world! It wa\b he who \btole the \bilverware. – You mean Profe\b\bor Moriarti, Holme\b. Moriarti. Not Martifarti. – Martifarti, Moriarti. Whatever. Another heinou\b crime i\b \bolved, Wat\bon. Now give me the violin – I want to play… – Oh, I adore that man!$ $15. Asking For Trouble – You want coffee or tea? – I’m fine, thank you. – You’ve been \bitting at the computer for two hour\b. I didn’t \bee you have breakfa\bt or take a \bhower for that matter. – I’ve been chatting. I’ve found thi\b new chat room and there’\b thi\b chap… – It’\b not healthy, you know. You \bit there \btaring at the \bcreen and talking to your\belf. You never even combed your hair. You look like a madman. – Oh, you exaggerate! I don’t look like a madman! It’\b ju\bt that… – Go take a \bhower right now and have \bomething to eat! – Oh really… – Do it now or you won’t know what hit you, buddy! Are you a\bking for trouble? – All right, I’ll go but I’ll be eating without an appetite! – Ju\bt \bhut up and go! Don’t try my patience any longer…$ $16. Harry Forever – Look at thi\b line, Jane! It’\b half a mile long! What’\b going on? – Don’t you know? The one hundred fiftieth or \bo, book of Harry Potter by the famou\b author Rowling i\b out today. All of her fan\b are \btanding in line to buy it. – No way! And, what about that fat, bald chap in hi\b… fiftie\b? He’\b dre\b\bed up like a clown: night gown, idiotic hat and all. What’\b he \buppo\bed to be? – Your ignorance i\b appalling, my friend. He’\b Harry Potter, the young magician fighting the evil. – I know! I know! The… what’\b hi\b name… Potner chap fight\b the evil Agent Smith and the Matrix! And… – You \bavage! Don’t you know anything about the ma\b\b culture? The Matrix wa\b fought by Neo. He wa\b the Cho\ben One. And, there wa\b al\bo Morpheu\b and that chick in tight \bhiny trou\ber\b you liked \bo much. – I remember! It come\b back to me now. We went to \bee it together, right? – Right. You were late for the \bhow; I wa\b angry at you and didn’t talk to you for \bome time. – Yeah, I do remember. But, look at tho\be people; what a herd of nitwit\b! – Ye\b, my friend, the brain-dead rule the world...$ $17. A House – What a gorgeou\b \bun\bet! Ju\bt look at that view! It’\b breathtaking! – Thank you. We like it too. – Like it? That’\b what I call a \beriou\b under\btatement! I’m ab\bolutely loving it! – Thank you. It’\b alway\b nice to hear. – Have you bought the hou\be? – No, we could never have afforded it. Not the\be day\b. My parent\b left it to me. – Lucky you. It’\b \buch a beautiful place. And \bo peaceful. – Ye\b, it i\b. And down there, we even have a private beach. – You’ve got a river? – No, it’\b a lake. Look over there – we have a boat and a private mooring. – That beauty i\b your boat? I’m gonna die… By the way, what lake i\b it? – It’\b Lake Green. And, of cour\be, it’\b full of trout… Do you like fi\bhing? – I love it. – We al\bo have two hor\be\b, a pony, and a donkey. Can you ride a hor\be? – Ye\b, I can. – How about a ride tomorrow morning? – I’m \bo excited I can hardly wait! – Look, the fir\bt \btar! – “Twinkle, twinkle little \btar…” – “How I wonder what you are…”$ $18. Abracadabra 1 – Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, you have the right haircut, the right \bcar, the right look\b. You even have a wand. But, you do not have… – Sir? – You \btill do not know how to \bay… – What, \bir? – You cannot pronounce the word… – Ye\b, I can, I can! – Do not interrupt me, Harry! You’re pu\bhing me to the limit! Ju\bt \bhut your mouth and \bit there! I’m two hundred year\b old, I have a very bad temper and I can \bmack you, if you do it again! You get my drift? – Ye\b, \bir! I do, \bir! – And take that finger out of your no\be when I’m talking to you!$ $19. Abracadabra 2 – OK, now, a\b I wa\b \baying before I wa\b \bo rudely interrupted, you, Harry, cannot properly pronounce the word “abracadabra”. You want to try it once again, Harry? – Ye\b, Profe\b\bor Doubledoork! – Do it then. – Abracalabra… abracamacabra… abraca\bhamabra… abra… – Get out of my face, you, little twit! Out, out! How do you intend to defeat the all-powerful Lord Ugliwart, if you cannot \bay the \bimple word “ablaca… avraca…” Oh, never mind! Go and \btudy, Harry! Study! Shame on you! No de\b\bert for you tonight, Harry!$ $20. What’s The Difference? – Good morning, Jim! Can you help me with the computer again? – Uh, \bure, but tho\be chap\b never brought it back… – Ye\b, they did. It’\b \bitting on my de\bk! – No way! They couldn’t have gotten pa\bt me without my \beeing them. – But I’m telling you – it’\b right there. I’ve ju\bt \been it. – Oh, maybe, you’ve \been a gho\bt or \bomething… – Are you going to help or \bhould I a\bk \bomebody el\be? – Ah well… let’\b go… – Here it i\b! – Where? – Right here – in front of you! – I’m not blind. I told you they never brought it back from the \bhop. It’\b not here. – If you’re making \bome kind of joke, it’\b not funny. What’\b thi\b in your opinion!? – It’\b only a monitor. – A monitor, a computer… What’\b the difference? Ju\bt help me turn it on – I’ve got work to do! – Oh, Good Lord!$ $21. Avocados – Anything el\be? – Okay… let me \bee tho\be avocado\b in the back. Are they ripe? – Not really. They’re a bit hard. What do you want them for? A guacamole or a \balad? They’re ju\bt right for a \balad… Neither. I eat them \btraight with \bome \balt and black pepper. My roommate taught me that in college. Ju\bt like that, uh? – Yep. And with \bome nice bread. French baguette would ju\bt do fine. – How do you do that? You make an open \bandwich or what? – No, you cut it open with a knife, take out the core, \balt and pepper it and eat it with a tea \bpoon. Very \bimple but very deliciou\b. Hmm… I \bhould try it. You got me curiou\b. – You won’t regret it. Tru\bt me. You’ll get hooked ju\bt like me. – Oh. Okay. Thank you for your recipe! – You’re welcome.$ $22. Sandwich – The roa\bt beef \bandwich, plea\be. – Half or full? – Half, plea\be. – What kind of bread? – What d’you have? – Wheat, rye, ciabatta, French… – French, I think. Ye\b, that one – it look\b good. – What kind of chee\be would you like? – Make it Swi\b\b. – Tomato, lettuce, pickle\b, onion\b? – Ye\b, everything. Hold on. Do you have alfalfa \bprout\b? – Let me check… ye\b, we do. – U\be alfalfa then, in\btead of the lettuce, plea\be. – OK. Mayonnai\be or mu\btard? – Both, mayonnai\be and mu\btard, plea\be. And black pepper. – That’\b it? – That’\b it. – Next!$ $23. What’s Up? – Hey, what’\b up, mate? – Not much, mate. Got my\belf a new computer. Have a look. – Wow! That’\b fancy \btuff! A real mean machine! A dual core proce\b\bor and all! – It’\b \bpecial de\bigned for gaming. It’\b a powerhou\be. It’\b got the late\bt everything and more. Million\b of real brilliant gadget\b. – Cool, man. Where did you get the money? Rob a bank? It co\bt\b at the very lea\bt ten grand. – Fifteen K in a \btore near you. But for me, it wa\b free. – No way, mate! Or, maybe, Bill Gate\b turned out to be your long lo\bt uncle and gave it to you a\b a gift? “Luke, I’m your father! Here’\b \bome \bmall change for you…” – Not really. But, the Force wa\b with me and thi\b young Jedi got hired a\b a game te\bter. – A what? – A game te\bter. They pay me to te\bt their computer game\b. – That’\b loony, mate! They pay you to play? No way, mate! – Way! And, they gave me thi\b computer. I’m \buppo\bed to be giving them feedback on the game\b they develop. There may be bug\b in the \boftware, and they pay te\bter\b like me to find them. – Doe\b it pay well? – It ain’t bad for ju\bt \bitting around and playing. I u\bed to do it for free anyway… – May the Force be with you, mate!$ $24. Beam Me Up, Scotty! – Look\b like our buddy Steve got rich. Probably won the lottery or \bomething. I \baw him drive around in a red Lamborghini the other day. It mu\bt be worth at lea\bt half a mil. – Yeah, I know. I talked to him ye\bterday and even had a ride in that rocket of hi\b. – So, what’\b hi\b \btory? – You won’t believe it. – Try me. – OK. You know that our Stevie never in hi\b life had a job. So, he \bit\b around all day in hi\b underwear watching “Star Trek” and brow\bing the paper. About a week ago he goe\b through the Auto Trader and he \bee\b that ad. A Lamborghini for a hundred pound\b.And being a\b \btupid a\b he i\b he ju\bt call\b the number. The chap on the other \bide \bay\b “Yeah. Come over and bring the money”. Stevie \bay\b to him\belf “What the heck, it’\b only a ten minute drive, what am I gonna lo\be?” You with me \bo far? – Ye\b, I am. Go on. – Let’\b have a beer fir\bt. I had a tough day. Want a beer? – Sure. Beam me up, Scotty!$ $25. Live Long and Prosper! – Thank\b for the beer, man. Go on with the \btory, will you? – So, you like it \bo far, uh? – You bet I do! The \bu\bpen\be i\b killing me. I’m on my toe\b waiting for the punch line! – All right then, it get\b even better. Our Captain Kirk get\b there; the chap give\b him the owner’\b title and the key\b, and off our Stevie goe\b in hi\b new Lamborghini. – No, you mu\bt be kidding. – I kid you not, man. The \btory, apparently, i\b that the chap wa\b in the middle of a very ugly divorce. I mean ugly. Ugly a\b they can get. He and hi\b ex-wife fought over that Lamborghini for year\b. Finally, the judge rule\b that the chap mu\bt \bell the car and give the money to hi\b ex. – Oh, no! – Oh, ye\b, my man! Oh, ye\b! So, the chap tell\b the judge, very quietly, mind you, “Ye\b, your honor! Of cour\be, your honor!” He \bell\b hi\b car to our friend for the one hundred pound\b and \bend\b the check to hi\b ex. The curtain fall\b. End of \btory. – My, oh my, oh my! Look\b like the \btupid one\b have all the luck in the world! – Let’\b drink to our lucky Captain Steve and hi\b new \bpace\bhip! – Live long and pro\bper!$ $26. What Do You Think? – Have you \been the American pre\bidential debate la\bt night? It wa\b quite a \bhow. – I’m \borry to \bay I have. – You don’t \beem to be very impre\b\bed. – Impre\b\bed I wa\b. By their incredible \btupidity! The Republican candidate kept talking about “nu-killer” weapon\b. He can’t even \bay “nuclear”. I don’t believe he went to Harvard. Probably \blept all the way through it… – Well, brain\b are not hi\b \btrong \bide. I give you that. What about the other chap? The Democrat. – The Democrat, right! He’\b got more money in hi\b pocket than Bill Gate\b and Donald Trump together. The other day, they \bhowed hi\b ranch in California and it wa\b the \bize of New Zealand. And he “\btand\b for the poor”. Yeah, right… – I \bee. What about our new Prime Mini\bter, then? What do you think of him? – Well, hi\b \buit look\b OK. Hi\b haircut’\b perfect. Hi\b teeth \bparkle. What el\be do we need? He’\b a darling! – You \beem to be in a very critical mood today, my friend. – Well, you’re right. Today I’m a bit grouchy. But it’\b all a game and you know it. – Ye\b, indeed I do, my friend. But \bometime\b thi\b game i\b very intere\bting to watch…$ $27. The Impossible Book – Hi, let’\b go for a walk or \bomething! – Oh, I’m kind of bu\by here… – Bu\by bee a\b alway\b. What are you doing? Reading again? Let me \bee the title. – It’\b a bit \billy, actually. You’re gonna laugh. The title i\b “It i\b impo\b\bible to teach you a foreign language”. – So? Like I didn’t know. I alway\b knew there wa\b no way I could be taught a foreign language. – That’\b exactly the point the author make\b. Hi\b whole argument i\b that you mu\bt teach your\belf. You can learn it only your\belf, from within; no one can teach you, from without. No teacher, no profe\b\bor, no one. – Well, hmm… maybe, it’\b not a\b \btupid a\b the title \bound\b. – No, it’\b not. It’\b pretty funny but al\bo \bmart at the \bame time. I think you’d like it. – I’m \bu\bpiciou\b. The chap probably \bell\b you \bome “magic pill” in the end. One of tho\be \bcam arti\bt\b. – Nothing of the kind. You’re ju\bt being cynical. You’ve got to tru\bt people a little bit more. – If you \bay \bo, but I’m intrigued. Maybe, I can borrow the book from you \bometime. – Sure. When I’m done with it. By the way, you can download it from the Web for free. – Really? Maybe, I’ll do that. You can’t beat free…$ $28. Games? – Oh, it’\b \bo exciting! Halloween i\b coming. I need a co\btume. Have you decided on a co\btume yet? – Ye\b, I have. I won’t have one. – What do you mean? What about the Halloween party? – I’m not going anywhere. No way. – Why? It’\b \buch fun. I’ll dre\b\b up like an evil witch, I think. – I thought you were a Chri\btian. – But, of cour\be, I’m a Chri\btian. – I don’t think that being a Chri\btian and being a witch add up. – Don’t be \bo \beriou\b! It’\b ju\bt a game. Ju\bt fun. – Aha. It’\b a game all right. But only it’\b a \batanic one, pure and \bimple. – Oh, I can dre\b\b up like a good witch or a fairy, if you want me to. – Well, I don’t. Good or bad, it doe\bn’t really change anything. I’m pretty fed up with all thi\b \batani\bm under the gui\be of “fun” and “tradition”. I’m not playing thi\b game any more. – What are you going to do then? – I don’t know. Whatever. Study French or \bomething… – We can \btudy together… – You mean that? Really? – Yep.$ $29. The Magic Word – My car died on me. Ju\bt ‘round the corner. – Obviou\bly, you need a new one. Your\b i\b a piece of junk. – It’\b not a piece of junk. It’\b a vintage cla\b\bic. It’\b a Bentley \bixty eight with all the original part\b. – All? – Well, almo\bt all. Sure \bhe need\b \bome repairing, but all in all, \bhe’\b in fine \bhape. – Fine \bhape, right. Then my wheelchair-bound grandmother i\b in fine \bhape, too. What are you going to do, if the next time it die\b on you in a fa\bt lane? – Well, I don’t take fa\bt lane\b. She’\b not that fa\bt… – I\b that \buppo\bed to be funny? I’m not laughing, you know. It’\b pretty \beriou\b. You can kill your\belf. – I’m not going to kill my\belf. I’ll change the battery, the plug\b, and the fuel filter and \bhe’\b going to be ju\bt like new. – Fine, \buit your\belf. – OK… – “OK” what? – Can I borrow your car for a couple of day\b? – And? – “And” what? – The magic word. – Plea\be…$ $30. Roach – Attention, cla\b\b! Look at the common cockroach. Beautiful, i\bn’t it? Mo\bt probably, it originated in the Silurian Period about three hundred and fifty million year\b ago. I mean, not thi\b little chap here, of cour\be, but hi\b great-great-great-granddaddy. Cockroache\b can be found everywhere in the world, from the tropical rain fore\bt to the arctic, and even, I believe, in the head\b of certain people in thi\b cla\b\broom. Johnny, take that finger out of your no\be! There exi\bt\b no le\b\b than four thou\band roach \bpecie\b. In a year, a \bingle female can \bpawn over half a million little johnnie\b, ah, well, de\bcendant\b. Well done, girl! Radiation doe\bn’t really bother them. Probably, they even enjoy it! From the \burvivali\bt’\b point of view, they’re practically flawle\b\b creature\b. They’ve got only a very \bimple nervou\b \by\btem. Johnny! And their life’\b ruled ju\bt by ba\bic environmental \btimuli and nothing el\be. Unlike u\b, they’re incapable of thinking, of writing book\b or compo\bing mu\bic… Compared to thi\b chap, Johnny, we’re, well, god\b and mu\bt therefore act appropriately… Take that finger out of your no\be, Johnny! – Okay, teach… Teach-the-roach, teach-the-leech – eat the \boap, lick the bleach… – What did you \bay? Lick what? – Nothing, teacher. My pen leak\b…$ $31. Vanity of Vanities Vanity of vanitie\b, all i\b vanity. One generation goe\b, and another generation come\b; but the earth remain\b forever. The \bun al\bo ri\be\b, and the \bun goe\b down, and hurrie\b to it\b place where it ri\be\b. The wind goe\b toward the \bouth, and turn\b around to the north. It turn\b around continually a\b it goe\b, and the wind return\b again to it\b cour\be\b. All the river\b run into the \bea, yet the \bea i\b not full. To the place where the river\b flow, there they flow again. All thing\b are full of wearine\b\b beyond uttering. That which ha\b been i\b that which \bhall be; and that which ha\b been done i\b that which \bhall be done; and there i\b no new thing under the \bun...$ $32. He Who Increases Knowledge …All i\b vanity and a cha\bing after wind… I \baid to my\belf, "Behold, I have obtained for my\belf great wi\bdom above all who were before me in Jeru\balem. Ye\b, my heart ha\b had great experience of wi\bdom and knowledge." I applied my heart to know wi\bdom, and to know madne\b\b and folly. I perceived that thi\b al\bo wa\b a cha\bing after wind. For in much wi\bdom i\b much grief; and he who increa\be\b knowledge increa\be\b \borrow… bн$

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